There are moments in life when you realize that you are in the midst of a miracle– prophetic promises fulfilled. Just when we’ve settled into believing God is good, He shows up again and is so much better than we could ask or imagine.
My husband Jason and I have been married for 13 1/2 years. We’ve been incredibly blessed to have a marriage full of adventure as we’ve pursued God’s best for us. Along the way, we’ve had challenges (and lots of learning opportunities) and have grown closer at every turn.
I always had an expectation in my heart that when I was ready, getting pregnant and starting a family would happen without difficulty. However, it wasn’t that simple.
Even though we longed and tried to get pregnant, it was just not happening. This turned into a long, almost decade-long, journey for us, pursuing natural means of fertility, physical checkups, and waiting. As we waited, I had a discussion with my chiropractor, who suggested that a severe car accident I had when I was 26 may be a contributing to factor to the difficulties we were having conceiving. So, we prayed about pursuing more intensive fertility treatments, but our insurance would not cover this and the cost felt unreachable. I began to wonder if I’d ever get to experience motherhood through pregnancy, and my heart grieved for my husband, who longed to be a father.
During this process the Lord would remind us of the legacy He had in store for our family. We would stand in church every time there was prayer for those that longed to have kids. Friends would gather with us privately and pray over us and declare God’s faithfulness. Over the years these powerful words and prayers seemed to grow almost painful as they were left unfulfilled.
But amidst this pain, each one was covered in hope and promise, and I tucked these words deep in my heart.
We feel adoption is one of the most beautiful examples of the gospel– giving the orphan a home. So we pursued foster care and private adoption. We learned so much about the need for adoptive parents to bring kids out of tough situations, and I grew more and more excited at the opportunity to welcome a child into our family. In late 2014, we were finalizing our adoption paperwork and had raised over $6500 to pay for the initial steps of private adoption with the help and support of friends and family. We scheduled our final home inspection and interview with the state in January of 2015.
Two weeks after our final interview with the state, I realized I needed to take a pregnancy test. Every sign pointed to the potential of pregnancy, but I couldn’t let my heart go there one more time for the fear of disappointment. I reluctantly went to the store, and when the pregnancy test showed “positive” I stood in shock. I let out a scream that made Jason come running to my side. We sat with that positive pregnancy test on the edge of our bed and wept together with joy. It was unbelievable. The feeling of a promise fulfilled that we’d almost let go of. At times it felt we had let go and God was the One still holding on. In a moment, everything changed, and it was totally unexpected.
Today, we are in a season of feeling completely empowered to give hope to those in waiting. We are so inspired to encourage the broken hearted that, in a moment, it can all change! I fully believe that choosing thankfulness along the way, celebrating the victories of those around you, and remaining faithful in the midst of it all will plant seeds– and while they may take time to grow, their fruit will come in season. It may not always look exactly the way we plan in our minds, but oh, how sweet that fruit is when it becomes ripe in the right timing!
Each moment of this pregnancy is beautiful and full of joy, and this little girl on the way has prophetic words spoken, journals written, and now songs sung in expectation of her arrival. What a legacy she already has. Though there was pain in the night, joy arrived in the morning. And it is a joy that is far deeper, sweeter and richer than I ever dreamed imaginable! She is, and will always be, an undeniable sign of the faithfulness of God in our lives.
This song is birthed from that place of expectation, but also from a place of seeing promises fulfilled right before me as this child grows every day. His love can move mountains. In my life I’ve seen him do incredible things with the tiny amount of faith I carry. What an amazing and good father we have!
You are faithful, You never give up – never give up on me
You are able, to finish the work You started in me
You are stable, through every change that this life can bring
Watch Amy sing this song during a spontaneous moment of worship here.
Amy and Jason Miller are a part of the Bethel Church worship team and family. Together, they have set out to let their journey and breakthrough in infertility inspire hope in the lives of others walking in similar journeys and who are in need of breakthrough in their own lives.